What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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