How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
