Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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