Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
