i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
