there's paper in my vomit.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
