Porn is love you can see.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
