Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she was so not down for the gang bang
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Randomize
