my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
