he wants to bone in the snuggie
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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