I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
