do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
