some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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