Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Hippo gnu deer
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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