Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
