yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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