You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
