he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
