So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
