omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
