Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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