Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
