i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
