Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
