When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
