Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
