I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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