The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
