I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Randomize
