I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
