So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
