Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
