if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
