i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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