The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
