I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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