i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
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I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
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