Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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