I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
a search helicopter?!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
