They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Randomize
