you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
