Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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