craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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