this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
