I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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