Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
