Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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