put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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