just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
