why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
