Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize