ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
