We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
