Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
