Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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