Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine