just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.