did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you inspire me to be a worse person
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.