Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks