people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?