your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize