Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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