she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
