so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you will always have a special place in my vag
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
