I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
