I think my fart just growled at me.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
